Treasuring Simplicity: William John Bernhardt Arrives

The morning of February 2,2015, I awoke at 4am feeling a little crampy. The night before was the Superbowl, where we had a small get together at our place, so I figured it was just from running around all day. However, around 4:30am, the cramping continued, despite drinking a ton of water.

As the cramping got progressively stronger, I decided to alert my mom and sister and call my doctor. Because Alex’s birth was under four hours from start to finish, the doctor wanted us to head to the hospital. This labor was much different than with Alex, as the initial labor was not nearly as intense. I was walking, talking and wasn’t in terrible pain. Several times I thought I perhaps had sounded the alarm when nothing was really going to happen.

The view from our delivery room.

Our neighbor came up to watch Alex and Andy and I finally headed to the hospital around 7:15am—as the cramps were getting progressively closer. The weather was awful and we were experiencing one of our worst snow storms of the year. We arrived at the hospital and were put into triage; when they checked me, I was 7cm dilated. It was almost as if the instant we got to the hospital, the contractions started becoming much more intense, but they were still not unbearable. The nurse asked me my pain level on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the most), and I am pretty sure I responded with an 8; with Alex, I said 10 when asked that question.

The morning of William’s birth—my last bump shot.

Arriving at the hospital. I declined the wheel chair, but probably should have taken it.

They asked if I wanted an epidural, which I declined. I was determined to have another unmedicated birth. We were officially admitted at 8:07am and wheeled into labor and delivery. This is where I became almost like an animal. In prepping for an unmedicated birth, I spent the previous weeks visualizing the pain and, more importantly, me coping with it. I focused on my breath and, when needed, I grunted and screamed. It was not pretty, and I felt a bit out of control. I was in so much pain and just wanted it to be over—I kept trying to stay focused, but it was hard—it was one of the hardest things I have ever done and, in all honesty, although the initial labor was so much easier, I think the end was so much harder than with Alex.

My water broke at 8:35am and I immediately wanted to start pushing. They told me to hold off for two more contractions, as there was no doctor in the room. They rushed to get the doctor, who was about to perform a c-section; she arrived and, in two pushes, William arrived. He was born at 8:44am, only nine minutes after my water broke and 37 minutes after being admitted to the hospital.

Andy and I had a few requirements, pending a healthy baby—one of them was immediate skin-to-skin contact, another was delayed cord clamping and the third was delayed newborn procedures. William was purple, though, when he came out—they immediately put him on my chest and started to rub him vigorously. Although I was a bit in shock, I remember Andy saying, “breath, baby, come on, William, breath”. What felt like minutes, but was most probably seconds, we heard that precious cry. Because he arrived so quickly, he had a lot of mucous and fluid on his lungs (fluid that tends to get squeezed out with a longer labor). He was perfect. He laid on me for about an hour, after which they took him to get weighed—he was six pounds, so a little peanut. He also latched almost immediately and has been a great eater ever since; in fact, he surpassed his birth weight by almost seven ounces a week after his arrival.

He arrived the day after my Busza’s birthday—I feel like she was looking after him, but also wanted him to have his own day. He also arrived ten days early; Alex arrived ten days early from his due date. Alex, our first, was born on the 1^st of March; Will, our second, was born on the 2^nd of February. Alex was born at 8:53am and William at 8:44am—within ten minutes of each other. Many times, Andy and I remarked how similar both mornings felt to us.

I was a little nervous that I would love William as much as I love Alex, but it is true what they say: your heart expands and you love them so much, even if that love is different. I have a history with Alex—he is my baby boy and always will be. He is my first and I love his intuitiveness and his humor—he strives to do everything himself because he is a “big boy”, and my job is to let him stretch his wings, but still provide protection and guidance when needed. Will is the opposite of Alex—he is so helpless that my job is to protect him 100%. They are both my babies, but they need such different things. Learning how to parent to each will be a struggle and I know I will make mistakes. But, I always tell Andy, if there is one thing that I strive for as a parent, it is that my children know they are loved and supported—if they grow up feeling that love, then I will consider that a success.