Treasuring Simplicity: My Mother, My Inspiration

It is hard to describe to someone who doesn’t know my mother just how amazing she is. If you know her, you don’t need to be told she is incredible—you just know it. I come from a long line of strong and giving women, and I am so proud to have had the examples of motherhood I have had.

My Busza, my mother’s mother

I always knew I had an unbelievably amazing mother, even as a child. My mother was loving, supportive, encouraging; she wouldn’t get mad at me if I spilled a glass of a milk; she wouldn’t yell at me if I accidentally colored on the table. She took everything with ease. Looking back, it is hard to believe she was so young—she had the maturity and grace of a much older mother. I also don’t know how she did it with my brother and me less than a year and a half apart, miles away from her family. Yet, we all grew up feeling loved and special.

She saw our strengths and encouraged us to pursue our passions. In high school, I won a Wellesley Book Award for outstanding female junior. I started to receive literature from Wellesley after I won this award, but I never considered applying there—I saw how much it cost and we couldn’t afford it. My mom saw the list of alumnae (which astounded me at the time) in the trash and asked me why I wasn’t considering Wellesley. I said to her, “Mom, I know we cannot afford to go there, so why try?” She sat down on my bed, grabbed my hand and said words I will never forget. She said, “Alissa, do not let the number in our bank account put a limit on your dreams; apply there, if you get in, we will find a way.” That encouragement prompted me to apply early decision to Wellesley, a school I had never seen, over 3,000 miles away from home (home at the time was Tucson, Arizona).

High school graduation.

In December, I got a letter from Wellesley. My mom and I opened the letter and we both cried and screamed and jumped for joy when we saw the news: I got in. But, I was nervous—it was so far away and I still hadn’t seen my financial aid package. My mom kept pushing me to go. As a parent, I only now understand the strength this must have taken—to encourage one of your babies to go across the country when you knew that you would only see them twice a year—for winter break and summer break, when the alternative was a two hour drive away. But, my mom knew that I needed something different—my mom saw in me potential that I didn’t see myself. She knew that Wellesley would be the best place for me.

My first time on campus—they were dropping me off.

Secretly, I was hoping that financial aid would fall through and I would be forced to go to the local university. In the spring of my senior year, though, I got a financial aid package that was so fabulous, it was cheaper for me to attend Wellesley than Arizona State University. It was set—I was going. I was a wreck. My mom was a pillar, and she would remain so for the duration of my college. She encouraged me to study abroad my junior year—to go even further away from home. She encouraged me to apply to more demanding programs. I took her advice and ended up at Oxford University for the year.

My decision to go to Wellesley changed the course of my life and I wouldn’t have done it without my mother, who was always one to push the envelope, to not accept the norm. She has taught me the same. She has been by my side my entire life. She welcomes me home with open arms, she stocks up on my favorite foods when she knows I am arriving, she treats my son like pure gold. She is a shining example of what a mother should be: she puts her children’s needs before her own, and, in doing so, she raises us up a little higher than we were before.

My bridal shower tea.

She always has my back.

Putting on my veil right before my wedding.

She is remarkable, in every sense of the word. I strive to be like her—I strive to provide Alex a safe environment filled with love and kindness and support.