Our Anniversary: A Look Back Eight Years Ago

Eight years ago today, I married my partner: Andy Bernhardt on the shores of Lake Champlain in Vermont. It was the biggest and smartest decision I ever made. We have traveled the world together, we have taken new steps personally and professionally, we have made the great leap into parenthood, and I am lucky to have embarked on these new journeys with his hand in mine. Here is a look back on our big day. 

Preparation

Pre-Ceremony

The Wedding Ceremony

As I reflect back on that day and re-read the words that were spoken during our ceremony, I realize, in some ways, that those words ring more true today than they did then:

Weddings of course tend to make us philosophical.  When you asked me to speak at your ceremony, I was thinking about what to say and my thoughts naturally gravitated to serious and profound matters—one very much related to this part of Vermont where Andy was raised.  I'm speaking of course about Champ, the legendary reptile and 20-foot pre-historic sea monster who supposedly lives somewhere in Lake Champlain.  For those of you who are not from this area, let me assure you: this is no joke.  There have been Champ sightings, videos, and photographs—news reports filed from ABC news—national—not the local affiliate.  There is an annual Champ Day on August 5th at Port Henry on Lake Champlain dedicated to honor this marvel of nature. 

Now…

Nobody has actually seen Champ up close—but people keep looking for him and they keep believing in him—and in that way, they keep Champ alive in the hearts and minds of those who want to believe.  In the aquarium where last night’s rehearsal dinner took place, there is even a room of children's drawings of what they imagine Champ looks like. 

I think of Champ and the legend and the search and the mystery and our imagining him—or her—because in many ways isn’t that part of how love works?  No, not looking for a sea monster—but this: Love is about belief—in the seen and the unseen.  It is about faith.  In one another.  And belief in your love.  Love is a search.  It requires that you keep seeking—for your love—and for each other—together, day after day.  

And like the children’s drawings, we each create our own image of love.  No matter what I or any poet or writer says about love or marriage, yours will be utterly your own, created in your own image.  And in that is your great freedom to live out and create the life of love you choose—according to who you are as individuals and who you become together.

And your love will also about this, too:  Mystery.  Because love is about the unsolvable mystery of another person.  A good friend of mine once told me: “After seven years of marriage, I’ve never loved my wife so much, and I find her more mysterious and unknowable than ever.” And in that lovely and wonderful declaration, he summed up the enduring wonder and mystery of love—and its endless possibilities to discover and re-discover another person as you go through life.  

So this is part of the challenge and journey that lies before you—to search, imagine and discover each other with all your heart and all your might—in the words of the poet Tennyson “to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.”

Heading to the Inn for Formal Photos

The Reception

 First dance. 

So, to my beloved husband, I will always strive to search, imagine and discover you, and life with you. Thank you for believing in us—I love you with all my heart.